The time was 4:08am. Come on, come on, go to sleep. I rolled over and drifted off feeling like I'd been asleep forever. 4:21am.
I’d been eye-balling the clock since 10:28pm.
“Go to sleep. Go to sleep. Go to sleep,” I’d woo myself, trying to bargain with my brain.
Three days down, and no sleep.
My eyes were burning as I lay awake staring at the ceiling.
The vision of conversations with my investors played out in my mind over and over again. I rehearsed conversations I was dreading of having.
I was having panic attacks. I couldn't concentrate. I knew the day was looming and everything felt completely out of my control and entirely out of my depth.
Today I had to tell my investors I’d failed to see a return on the nearly $200K they’d trusted me with.
The next day, I had to tell a staff member of mine he was about to lose his job.
The company was slowly drying up in funds, and I knew I had 13 days left before I’d have to let go of my entire staff, who had been so loyal throughout the whole process and excited to be a part of our company vision.
Rewind two years.
I’d just been made redundant in my role as a business journalist as I saw the media industry start to come undone, while print publications and magazines audaciously tried to adapt to the rising threat of Facebook and citizen journalism.
For years I’d been passionate about seeing teen girls reach their full potential.
After a tumultuous and traumatic teenhood, and a psychology and journo degree in hand, I was determined to not let another teen girl go through what I went through, who weren’t as fortunate to have tools they required to overcome challenges in their life.
Instead of getting a new job, I saw this as a timely opportunity to bring my idea to life — which was the true initiation to my entrepreneurial journey.
I worked effortlessly on my new project. I spoke to teenagers, interviewed girls, professionals and drew from my own academic and personal experiences to come up with a robust, practical and interactive self-guided program for teen girls to work through and overcome life's challenges.
Elizabeth Gilbert, writer and entrepreneur refers to Creative Source as a feeling of a vibrational surge of energy that pulsates through through the universe, and lands with anyone who is open to receive it.
“Like a waving rumble, you can hear it like a train. It bellows, bustles and rolls over the hills with dramatic force. You can feel it. See it. Embrace it. And you have to catch it. Catch it before it disappears.”
I was in full creative force.
Things just flowed. Things just came. Resources appeared in the periphery. I’d write things down and they’d materialise within months.
For the first time in my life, I felt like I had a driving purpose. I was born to do this. Nothing would prevent me from doing this.
It was scary, but liberating.
The next few months, I worked with creative precision, seeing things in front of me come to life.
It was like everything had unlocked.